BEVERLY HILLS - Rihanna who seems to finally be getting herself back together again after her 'Chris Brown High Heel Tripping Incident' is reportedly dating comedian Andy Dick.
Many of Rihanna's closests friends are puzzled and actually downright shocked as to what in the world the beautifully talented 21-year-old Rihanna is doing dating the grotesquely bizarre and abnormally perverted 43-year-old Andy "The Dick" Dick.
When Internet columnist Perez Hilton asked Rihanna about this, she reportedly said that, unlike most media people and people in general, she does not see the bad, horrible, crazy, stupidly psychotic side of Andy, but instead she sees the soft, sensitive, femininely sheer side of Andy.
Ri smiled and then chuckled and said that the other day while she was at Panda Express eating an order of Chicken Potstickers she thought about the fact that if she had married Chris Brown then divorced him and married Andy Dick she would have become Rihanna Fenty Brown Dick.
When she is asked point blank just exactly what the hell it is that she sees in this ugly as a vulture muppet-looking puppet Ri grins and says that she feels that Andy has been put in front of her as a sign that even a no good, lousy piece of horrible dumpster garbage like him can make her get over her controversial heartbreak at the hands of her ex-boyfriend Browny
Ri say that besides all of the negative hoopla she truly likes being around the Dickster and she confesses that she has seen all of his movies. She points out that her favorite one is The Hebrew Hammer, which she says at last count she had watched 24 times.
Rihanna says that her and Andy have a lot of things in common. They both love Panda Express. They both have a Y in their name. And they both think that Gov. Sarah Palin could kick Ann Coulter's bahookie (caboose) in a fair fight.
The Barbados-born beauty reveals that she has already promised Andy that she will sing the title song to his next movie called, Oops Damnit - The Very True Story of Andy Dick.
Rihanna also said that Andy has written two songs which she will be including in her next album which is due out June 29. The CD is entitled, "Cover Girl Covered Up The Bruises Damn Good."
The two songs that Andy wrote for her album are entitled "Lemme See You Kiss My Cute Kettledrums" and "Hey Dick, How's My Backyard La La La Lookin' To Ya?"
SIDENOTE: Rihanna stated that she actually uses Revlon Makeup, but she said that the name Cover Girl went better with the other words in her CD title.