(Washington DC) The United States gave its complete and unconditional surrender to the Democratic Republic of North Korea today. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton happily signed the order in a brief ceremony at the White House. Kim Jong Il is now the Supreme Leader of the Liberated States Of America
Mrs. Clinton noted in her final remarks as Secretary of State that "war is not the answer, for only love can conquer hate." Mrs. Clinton also said: "Imagine all the people sharing all the world."
Mrs. Clinton will be the new foreign minister for North Korea, effective immediately.
Former President Barack Obama hailed the historic day for the world in a brief note to Kim Jong Il:
Oh, what a glorious day for the peoples of the world! Workers of the world--unite! Peoples of the world--unite! All must follow our glorious Dear Leader! Let 1000 red flowers bloom all over the defeated, fascist Amerika. The West is Red! All praises to Our Dear Leader!
The former president will be the prime minister of the defeated USA, until it is integrated with the Communist Homeland. He will now be known as Sweet Leader, because he's so sweet!