Written by Stone Riprock
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Topics: Health, Economy

Sunday, 4 July 2004

image for Greenspan: "You Are Getting Very Sleepy"
"Hoochy Coochity, Poochy Poo"

WASHINGTON - Alan Greenspan, chairman of the Federal Reserve, announced today he would take certain key steps to ensure the continued recovery and health of the economy. "Flimmity-flammity, bimmity-bammity," he told reporters, "dreezle drazzle drozzle droh. You are my minions, you are my lambs, you will do everything just as you're told."

White House spokesman Scott McClellan agreed with Greenspan's message. "Economics is boring," he said, "and it's really tough to understand. What the American people want, what they need, are jobs, security, and nappy time. Look at my watch. It's all right here. See how it swings? Yes, it's very restful, isn't it? Back and forth. Back and forth. Job creation is good. Back and forth. You will get a raise and win the lottery. Sleepy time now. Happy hot dog apple pie baseball game on channel 7 liquor store supreme."

Ralph Nader responded by saying that he has been Republican from the beginning, and wants all of the good soul happy-time sleepy bed Americans who happy for him to happy happy for George Bush, nighty night.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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