SANTA MONICA, California - The Santa Monica Pier had to be closed today due to some damage that was inflicted to it when a World War II One-Man Japanese Submarine crashed into it.
Captain Takamatsu Fujisawa, Jr., of the Japanese MiniSub 107 was shocked when Santa Monica Police informed him that he was in the United States.
The 85-year-old Fujisawa shook his head and said that he remembers leaving Pearl Harbor in 1941 and adds that he must have inadvertently taken a right (turn) at the Gilbert Islands.
Detective Tyrone Epps with the SMPD asked him how long he had been sailing around in his minisub. Fujisawa asked him what year it was.
"Oh my, I haven't taken a bath in 68 years. No wonder I'm kind of on the smelly side."
Fujisawa was asked if he would like to eat a plate of sushi?
"Sushi, what is that?"
When told that it was raw uncooked fish and a very popular Japanese dish, he asked why in the world would anyone want to eat raw uncooked fish when you could have fried squirell or barbecued woodchuck.
When told that no one in America eats squirell or woodchuck he remarked, "No eat squirell, no eat woodchuck, I guess next you tell me you Americans no eat spiders."
Fujisawa was driven to a McDonalds where he was given some McNuggets. Fuji smiled as he took a bite of one of the McNuggets and then said, "Ah chicken titties, now you talking real authentic Japanese food."
(EDITOR'S NOTE: Captain Takamatsu Fujisawa, Jr., has already been booked to appear on Larry King Live, Oprah, Wheel of Fortune, The Bonnie Hunt Show, Two and A Half Men, and The Young and The Restless.)