Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 31 May 2009

image for Adam Lambert Is Asked To Join Led Zeppelin
Part of the crowd of more than 30,000 people who turned out to see Adam at an autograph signing at a Key West Starbucks

LONDON - American Idol runnerup Adam Lambert has just announced that he has been asked to join one of the greatest rock and roll bands of all time, Led Zeppelin.

The band has been wanting to tour for the past twenty years but lead singer Robert Plant made it quite clear that he could no longer hit the amazingly high notes that he once used to with virtual ease. Plus he added that at 60 years of age, the groupies would knock his microphone in the dirt.

Plant confessed that he did not want to embarrass himself or the band. He then said that after seeing Adam Lambert perform their song "Whole Lotta Love" on American Idol he would be both thrilled and honored to have Adam step in and take over Led Zeppelin's lead singing duties.

He said that he truly enjoyed watching the show and truly looked forward to seeing what kind of magical twist Lambert would pour into his next song.

The Led Zeppelin frontman said that he continued watching the show even though at times he said that he felt as if he was watching a cheap soap opera because of the constant back and forth bickering, arguing, and backstabbing going on between the four so called adult judges.

Plant said that he noticed that Randy (Jackson) would be announced and he would do his silly ass gang signs. Then new first-year judge Kara (DioGuardi) would be shown smiling with a look that was half smirk and half boredom.

And poor tiny little munchkin Paula (Abdul) would just sit and grin staring into space as if she was Princess Chirographia of the Planet Tutu.

And Plant's fellow Englishmen Simon Cowell, the man who has never met a T-Shirt he did not like just seems to sit there with a grin that a little boy gets when he has gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

He noticed that at least half of the words Simon utters are "What did he say?" Either Cowell cannot hear very well, there is just too much background noise, or he is too busy flirting with Paula and trying to get into her pants that he has no earthly idea what the heck is going on.

Plant went on to say that Ryan Seacrest seems to be obsessed with the fact that he has already declared himself to be the next Dick Clark.

He stated that he has no doubt that Adam can easily take his microphone right now and assume Led Zeppelin's lead singing duties.

He stated that he is absolutely astounded at the tremendous octave range that Lambert possesses.

Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page said that he cannot believe the great poise, confidence, and attention to makeup detail that Lambert has.

Noting that Adam had turned down Queen's offer to be their frontman, Page simply replied, "Oh well, Queen's loss is Led Zeppelin's gain."

Bassist John Paul Jones said that he will galdly welcome Adam into the band with open arms as well as with a tremendous 'signing bonus' check.

"Plus" Jones said with a mile wide grin. "Can you imagine the thousands of girls this lad will attract. Wow! The guy is definitely a double treat. Not only can the California kid sing the hell out of a song. But he'll be able to attract volumes of girls from 18 to 81."

In related news. Tatiana Del Toro will be appearing at a Dodge dealership closing in El Mango, Puerto Rico.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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