United States Premiere Barack Obama, enraged at the actions of The Joint Chiefs of Staff of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard, had the group arrested on charges of religious discrimination after the annual Memorial Day concert on the Capital grounds.
Said Obama, "During the show, broadcast on PBS to the entire country, one lady sang The Battle Hymn of the Republic. This song has references to God, Jesus, and the Lord. Several speakers urged people to actually pray for our troops and to support the troops and this is just wrong."
"Our non-Christian citizens were probably offended by this and shouldn't have to watch this stuff. I blame the chiefs of staff of our military for this. I'm going to keep Guantanamo Bay open just for this group of military prisoners"
Even though Obama does not select who sits on this group, he immediately moved to fill the seats with Louis Farrakah, Oprah Winfrey, Al Sharpton, Barbara Streisand, and "Hanoi" Jane Fonda.
"I think our military is finally in good hands with this move and it is another change we really needed to make this country great in the Islamic world."
"They expect me to go and lay wreaths at the tombs of the unknowns because it is Memorial Day. Yeah....like that's going to happen!"