Written by The SSaint
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Monday, 25 May 2009

Forget Israel and the Palestinians, and pay no heed to the war in the Congo, there is a full-scale war going on behind the scenes and in front of the cameras on American Idol.

This follows after Kara DioGuardi or 'the new judge' as everyone refers to her, stripped down to her bikini to sing along with the infamous 'bikini girl' on the Idols finale last Wednesday.

Simon commented that he was glad that he didn't have any children, because otherwise he'd have to go home and calm them, because he has never seen a scarier thing in his life.

Kara fumed, shouting that he didn't complain when they were having sex earlier the year.

Simon added, "The lights were off, thank heavens!"

This fuels speculation that Kara had inside help in securing a job she was never qualified to do.
Mind you, how did Paula & Randy get their jobs? Let's leave it there...

This is the latest in a series of communication breakdowns between the two.

Simon commented after the show: "I have nothing against Kara, she is entitled to her ideas and opinions, and I always consider what she says, in the same way I consider a mosquito's feelings before I swat it."

Kara wasn't available for comments, she was busy scheduling a tanning salon and a personal instructor.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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