NEW YORK CITY, NY - The year's breakout Broadway sensation, the "World's Largest Vagina Monologues," has been indefinitely cancelled after its star was diagnosed with the world's biggest yeast infection.
"I had noticed a slight burning, itching sensation, you know... down there," admitted the woman with the world's largest vagina shyly. "But I really didn't think nothin' of it. Boy, is my face red!"
And that's not all that's red. Guest stars Whoopi Goldberg and Rosie O'Donnell, who perform their own monologues from within her vagina, were the first to call attention to the problem in "dress rehearsal." With her finger, O'Donnell scraped off a whitish-grey discharge that was "curdlike" in appearance, calling it to Goldberg's attention.
"What the hell is that!?" exclaimed Goldberg, shaking her head. "You're not gettin' me in there! Unh, unh. I don't need this sh*t!"
Doctors wrote the world's largest prescription for Vagi-Crème and Supposi-Stat, indicating that, if used correctly, they should clear up the condition in two to three weeks.