Before television cameras, a firm grip around Nancy Pelosi's waist, bouncing her against his hip, Donald Trump announced that the Speaker of the House would retain her position as second in line runner up to President Obama.
With that, Joe Biden was heard to question if that made him first runner up. He lamented not performing his bikini pageant walk! Trump dismissed the necessity of the bikini pageant walk.
Proud of Trump's approval, the Vice President volunteered his view on gay marriage. Unlike Miss California, Biden felt that all marriages should be gay! If marriage wasn't gay, it wouldn't be happy. And no way anyone's gonna catch a train to an unhappy marriage.
Trump sent Biden out for coffee.
Former President George Bush crept forward from his gated community in Texas, questioning: Who made Trump the decider? Bush insisted he was the decider. Trump replied, Bush and his team were fired after the '08 election. "Anyone tell Cheney?"
Huffing with indignation, minority House leader, John Boehner, (known as Mr. Coppertone) stepped up to the microphones, taking issue with Pelosi's claim that she was lied to by the CIA, suggesting she should show proof or apologize for calling the CIA a gang of no good cut throat lying sons of witches, who deliberately misled the Congress!
So what if torture was used by the CIA. The point is the date, not torture. Forget torture. Stick to the date. If the Speaker of the House can't get her dates straight, she should resign, be impeached, or fired.
Quick as Jack Flash, Joe Biden was back with a tray of coffee, doughnuts, cream and sugar, claiming to have gleaned his coffee service skills while commuting on Amtrak.
He addressed Representative Boehner as Coppertone, suggested that if he were to take the D.C. 6:04 train to Delaware, hang his head out the window, by the time he reached Wilmington, he'd have a natural looking Robert Redford tan. Adding, the veneers would take on a real white Pepsodent sparkle just like Miss California. But, he cautioned, watch the head rug. Could lose it before the train pulls out of Union Station.