Written by Stone Riprock
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Topics: New York, Government

Saturday, 3 July 2004

image for Statue of Liberty Head Kills 4
New Yorkers Battle Liberty

NEW YORK - The government warned that attacks might be imminent inside the US this weekend, but the first attack came from an unlikely source just days before the 4th of July holiday--the head of the Statue of Liberty. The spiked head flew off of the rest of the statue late this afternoon and left a trail of destruction across the city. Four were killed when the car they were riding in was lifted by one of the head's spikes, then slung into the Hudson River.

Former Mayor Giuliani rushed to the scene of the devastation. "Am I mayor yet?" he asked. "Because I can be mayor. Do you know if I'm mayor?" The head lunged at him at one point, but a phalanx of police opened fire, and the head turned back toward a delicatessen it had been flattening.

Terrified tourists are still trapped in the observation deck in Liberty's forehead. Helicopters have tried to effect a rescue, but so far the head has refused to allow them to approach.

Police said they are attempting to reach Rodan as a counter-measure, but the erstwhile supermonster was on vacation in Costa Rica.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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