Written by Terrell Manasco

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Topics: New York, Fire

Friday, 2 July 2004

image for Bush Blasts Hilary With Heat Vision!

President Bush, visibly annoyed by a Senator Hillary R. Clinton's heckling, lost his temper this morning and fired a blast of heat vision at the former first lady, setting her hair on fire. The outburst occured at a fund-raiser for the New York senator's 2005 campaign. Witnesses said Clinton was constantly badgering the President, who tried to ignore her at first, but finally lost his composure and bellowed, "Feel my wrath, you battle-ax!" and fired two blasts of heat vision rays from his eyes at her, causing her hair to erupt in flames. "She was nagging and heckling him one minute and the next he just fried her with those red beams coming from his eyes. Just zapped her like that. She shut up then. Well, except for the screams anyway." Bush then reportedly turned to the crowd and asked if anyone else wanted "a piece of me". Clinton was rushed to a nearby Manhattan hospital for treatment and the President resumed his speech. Hospital sources said the Senator was "rather quiet now". Her husband, the former President, in town to promote his new book said, "Hey, can George teach me to do that?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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