WASHINGTON - In its final report, the special commission investigating the 9-11 attacks concluded that the invasion of Iraq was not linked to 9-11, but was in fact a "wardrobe malfunction." The FCC has said that it is considering fines in excess of $500 for the breach of its rules, which state that international aggression must not occur on the air except between 11 PM and 4 AM.
Democratic leaders are skeptical of the finding. Tom Daschle, D-N. Korea, said, "These people must be joking. So Donald Rumsfeld 'accidentally' pulled off the President's codpiece? I watched the footage a dozen times, and there was no accident about it. It was calculated, it was deliberate, it was intentional."
Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-Ma., agreed. "If there's anybody who knows what a wardrobe malfunction is, and what an international incident that's pinned on a wardrobe malfunction is, it's me," he said. "You want to see a wardrobe malfunction? This is a wardrobe malfunction." Kennedy then fell out of his chair, causing a bookcase to topple out of his office's third-story window and demolish a Lexus parked outside.