Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 5 June 2009

image for Petula Clark Visits Boy George - Inmate #74316869
Petula Clark sitting in her living room watching reruns of The Benny Hill Show (photo courtesy of David Frost).

LONDON - Boy George is presently incarcerated at The Petula Clark Prison For Blokes in London.

Petula Clark, who is the most successful British female recording artist of all time, recently paid George Alan O'Dowd a visit.

Miss Clark, 76, said that she read an article in The Nottingham Messenger News where Boy George stated that two of his all time favorite songs were Petula Clark's "Downtown" and "Don't Sleep In The Subway."

She sent him an email thanking him and expressing her appreciation. She also mentioned that she would be baking him a Lemon Merengue Pie in the shape of a tambourine.

He wrote back saying that he would be honored if she could visit him in prison.

Miss Clark wrote back saying that she would be thrilled to visit him in the prison named after her. She even suggested that perhaps they could even record a song together.

Boy George was so happy that his eyeliner started running down his face, messing up his lipstick, and staining his pink Amy Winehouse designer blouse.

When Miss Clark arrived at the prison named in honor of her, the whole cell block broke into her rendition of her 1960's song "Downtown." She was touched and said that she had never heard it sung better.

One of the inmates #74320704 yelled out "Liar!"

Miss Clark was shocked and then she yelled back, "Pipe down you pathetic blimey bastard."

Every one of the 50 convicts in the cell block broke out laughing and Clark spent the next 15 minutes personally autographing 8 by 10's that she had brought with her.

Four inmates asked her to sign it 'Your girlfriend, Petula.' Seven asked her to sign it 'Your wife, Petula,' and one somewhat strange lad asked her to sign it 'Your sister, Petula.'

Afterwards her and Boy George worked out a modern version of the song "Downtown" which Miss Clark said she will be including on her next album entitled "Songs From Petula Clark - The Woman Not The Prison."

Meanwhile, The BBC is reporting that Portugual is planning to invade North Korea within the next two weeks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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