Written by The Garlic Press
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 11 May 2009

image for Woman With World's Most Edible Pussy Foils Attempted Cat Burglary
"Furry feline friend, my ass!" said a squirrel who lives in the area. "That cat's nothin' but trouble."

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - A local seamstress arrived home from work early today, scaring away someone who was trying to break into her home. She says the would be intruder was after her precious pussy.

Him Go Daon, 35, says that ever since she got Xiaomao, her rare blue-eyed plush Burmilla, her neighbor has been after the furry feline. "It was Si-hui, alright. That ski mask not fooling anyone; I can recognize him a mile away easy."

Mao Chi Si-hui, the neighbor of whom she speaks, owns the popular Star of Asia restaurant. Though authorities have been unable to make any arrests, the Star of Asia has for years been rumored as a highly-sought location for dining on exotic endangered species.

Guests are said to access private rooms through passageways beneath the city, where they may then consume their contraband cuisine. Rumored dishes served at the notorious, subterranean 4-star restaurant are said to include Tiger Penis Soup, Panda Potstickers, and Jellied Giraffe Genitals.

As the rare blue-eyed plush Burmilla is known as an especially succulent pussy, Go Daon says she's afraid Xiaomao could end up on that same menu, but says she will be on the lookout for trouble.

"If he lays one hand on my pussy," she warned as she waved a pair of scissors menacingly, "he just might lose a finger."

Make The Garlic Press's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 1?

4 9 5 2

Go to top