Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 11 May 2009

image for Donald Trump Names Joan Rivers New Celebrity Apprentice
The $250,000 that Joan Rivers received for winning The Celebrity Apprentice

MANHATTAN - Donald Trump has fired the tough-as-nails poker and parcheesi playing champion Annie Duke and he has named comedienne Joan Rivers as the new Celebrity Apprentice.

During the course of the series the competition got extremely heated with Rivers calling Duke everything from a white trash croquet player to a Nazi Prima Donna and a two-faced Facist ho to a three-faced Republican delegate.

Even Joan's 41-year-old daughter Melissa jumped on the bandwagon and referred to Ms. Duke and her teammate ex-Playboy playmate Brande Roderick as cheap sluts, nympho trophy wives, Fox News talk show hosts, and nasty pit vipers.

Brande complained to Trump and told him in no uncertain terms that she did not appreciate the daughter of Lincoln's ex-girfriend, Joan Rivers, calling her a Fox News talk show host.

Trump laughed so hard that his hairdo almost imploded.

For being named the new Celebrity Apprentice, Joan Rivers received $250,000 for her charity, America's Old Gals With Dangling Participles.

She also received the following:

  • A Four-Star Make-Over (worth over $900).
  • Free unlimited Botox for one year.
  • Free Liposuction for two years.
  • A free money-back guaranteed Tummy Tuck.
  • A free Brazilian Butt Lift.
  • And 20 cases of Queen Sally's Cellulite Removing Salve.

So overall this year, the women pretty much dominated the field.

In related news. In this year's edition of Celebrity Apprentice, Dennis Rodman did manage to receive honorable mention in both the male and female category.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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