ST. LOUIS, MO - Many Missouri and Kentucky residents suffered severe injuries Friday night when the reigning Queen of Media waved her arms, causing heavy showers of chicken wings to fall across much of the area.
The line of storms was accompanied by gushing torrents of wing sauce that flooded waterways, quickly inundating entire communities caught off guard by the storm's surprising strength.
"It just goes to show you the power of Oprah," says O. Schitt of Pasmaquadamy, MO, whose home was destroyed in the Kentucky-fried fiasco.
Local 911 service in many areas was unable to handle the incoming deluge of calls. Though rescue workers were dispatched as quickly as possible, many residents of the beleaguered states soon found themselves up to their necks in wings.
Most experts agree that, despite the appearance created by this terrible incident, Oprah is on the side of good. She's still just having a little trouble getting used to her superpowers.