Written by NickFun
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Friday, 8 May 2009

image for Bristol Palin Encourages Teenage Girls to Become Pregnant
Bristol Palin wants teenage girls to become pregnant like this.

Bristol Palin, the 18 year old daughter of Alaska governor Sara Palin, said during an interview this morning that she hopes all teenage girls get to become pregnant because "being a mommy is just so awesome!"

Bristol was the talk of the campaign circuit when her mother ran in a failed attempt to become vice president alongside failed Arizona senator John McCain.

"I just love being a mommy. It's so much fun", Bristol told GMA host Chris Cuomo. "I hope all teenage girls get to have sex and get pregnant like I did!"

Bristol claims she knew that sex would make her pregnant even though sex was never discussed in their home nor at school. "Sex education isn't allowed in school. They're afraid all this talk about sex would make kids horny", she revealed. "I learned about sex from the internet after I disabled my mom's filtering software".

Bristol's dad Todd Palin said he was very upset when Bristol first told him she was pregnant. "I wanted to beat the shit out of her", Todd candidly revealed to the news media. "But at the time my wife was shooting for the White House and I knew that wouldn't look good so I just kinda let it slide".

Sara Palin claims she did everything in her power to prevent her daughter from becoming pregnant. "I tossed out books from the library that dealt with sex, I made her read the Bible every day, I put filtering software on the internet and I preached to her about how God would punish her. But you know how kids are!" Sara said with a wink.

After Bristol implored teenagers to have sex, pharmacies across the nation noticed an 80% decline in birth control products among their teenage customers.

"Since that interview ya can't even give a condom away to these kids", said Wallisa pharmacist Alex Castro.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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