Written by iscrivener
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Topics: Barack Obama

Thursday, 7 May 2009

image for Obama - "Devil In Disguise?"
Which Is Witch?

WASHINGTON, USA - President Obama, in his support for a free Scottish nation, opened a new chapter in Scotlands's tortured relations with its Wicca peoples on Beltane with a comprehensive and moving apology for past wrongs and a call for tripartisan action to improve the lives of Scotland's Wiccas and Highland Druid Islanders.

A crowd outside the Scottish Parliament, EH666 A5P, listened to the apology read by Deputy Minister Trish DeVillewoman, on Obama's behalf, to the Wiccas and Druids of Scotland.

"The Parliament is today here assembled to deal with this unfinished business of the nation, to remove a great stain from the nation's soul, and in a true spirit of reconciliation to open a new chapter in the history of this great land, Scotland," Ms Trish told Parliament.

This was "Government business, emotion No. 1," the first act of Ms. Trish's Beltane promise, which was sworn in on the 1st April after a convincing electoral win over the 400 year administrations of English monarchs and Parliamentarians, who had for centuries refused to apologise for the misdeeds of past reigns and governments.

Ms Trish's apology was particularly addressed to the so-called Stolid Genre, frozen on the canvas of time, the tens of millions of indigenous children who were removed, sometimes forcibly, from their families in a policy of annihilation that only ended in the 1990s.

In some Highland regions it was part of a policy to "breed out the Wicca," in the words of Mack "The Knife" Fyffe, who holds the title of chief protector of the Northern Isles.

"We apologise especially for the removal of Wiccas and Druid Islander children from their families, their communities and their country," Mr. Fyffe said, as today's Wicca and Druid members listened in the gallery, some with black tears in their eyes. "For the pain, suffering and hurt of the Stolid Genre, their descendants and for their families left behind, we apologise."

"To the mothers and fuckers, the noncers and the sisters, for the breaking up of families and communities, we are truly remorseful. And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we stand repentant!"

The 2 second apology, and the 1-minute speech that followed, received a mute response both inside the chamber and from the thousands gathered on the grounds of Parliament Green.

In a joint statement both Wiccas and Druids stated "We shall go into ne'er, with joy and psych and meickle care; And will go in the Devil's name, Ay while till we come home again. Faith, and hope and charity are simple relativity!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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