Written by Bureau
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Thursday, 7 May 2009

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"Einstein's right, everything IS made up of energy."

The National Informer has completed a survey that shows that the average American's vocabulary is somewhere between that of former president George W. Bush and Koko the signing gorilla.

In what's called the "Dumbing down of America", the words used in most television programs are catered to Mr. & Mrs. Smith with lots of canned laughter so they'll know to laugh or sad music that can bring a tear should somebody "what was a good guy" get wasted.

Many regular Television daytime Soap watchers have a vocabulary of under 2,000 words from "I'm pregnant with your child" to "Mother's in the hospital dying from a death thing".

Even so, the average male magazine reader is usually in the 1,000 to 1,500 range with "A running back that can do it all" to "here is the commercial on this page for beer, being held by a near-naked woman, woof woof!"

Then there are the Playboy and Maxim readers who are under the range of Koko. "Big breasts are GOOD, little breasts are BAD, but better than none" to "bananabob eaten".

Finally, in case you're wondering, this article barely eclipsed the George W. Bush range but left Koko in our dust.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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