Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 8 May 2009

image for Obama Names Lou Dobbs Ambassador To Mexico
Mexican Quesadillas which Lou Dobbs is trying to get the U.S. Senate to ban.

WASHINGTON - In a very surprising move President Barack Obama has named CNN TV host Lou Dobbs to be the new American ambassador to Mexico.

Dobbs who the highly reputable Mexican newspaper, The Cabo San Lucas Morning Tamale recently named "The Most Hated Man In The History of The Republic of Mexico" says that he is thrilled to be chosen to be the new Ambassador.

He remarked that he is extremely honored to have been chosen by President Obama and he promises that he will continue with his rambunctious rhetoric on illegal immigration policy, which at times, he fully admits, has firmly placed him in the full of cowsh*t department.

Dobbs has described his political affiliation as being an Independent Populist, which CNN colleague Wolf Blitzer describes as just being a $100 euphemism for pompous fence-sitting jerk.

The 63-year-old, overweight Dobbs has made it very clear that he is against any and all type of illegal immigration reform, free trade, guest worker programs, Quesadillas, and Pico de Gallo (Mexican hot sauce).

The crotchety old geezer has been harshly criticized for being extremely obsessed with the United States - Mexican border fence.

In fact, "Pillsbury Doughboy" Dobbs recently said on Larry King Live that he is proposing that the border fence be upgraded to deliver 500,000 volts of electricity if touched.

Dobbs has also received some criticism for his unique idea in which to remove illegal immigrants from the United States.

The proposal is referred to as The Lou Dobbs Illegal Immigrant Dumping Program Proposal.

"Laughing Stock" Lou has met with Senator Bubba Boffo of an unnamed southwestern state and together they have devised a program which instead of returning the 'uninvited Mexican guests' back to Mexico, they will instead be loaded onto C-5A transport planes, flown over Iraq, and dropped off just inside the Baghdad city limits.

When asked if he didn't think that this was cruel and inhumane, Dobbs smiled, put down his Corona Light Cerveza (Beer), and his Cuban Cigar and replied, "Cruel? Maybe if they were dropped from the C-5A's without benefit of a parachute yes. But each 'unauthorized American visitor' will have the very best used Guatemalan parachute on the market.

And "Dufus" Dobbs added, that anyone who wants can quickly and easily check the parachutes out. Just log onto eBay and look under: Used Guatemalan Parachutes: $1 each or five for $4.98.

Mexican actress Salma Hayek, who is now married to a French billionaire, was asked what she thought about Lou Dobbs. Hayek rolled her eyes, spit on the ground, and proceeded to call Dobbs every name in the book from aardvark droppings to zebra molester.

Salma then grinned and said that now that she is a bonafide billionaire's wife she will hire Dobbs to mow the lawn of her $17.2 million Mexican-style hacienda (estate).

In other news. Sixteen year old Miley Cyrus has said that she will not get a tramp stamp tattoo until she reaches puberty.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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