AURORA, ILLINOIS--- In a shocking development late Wednesday afternoon, Al Jazeera television network released footage of a crucified Chicken on U.S. Rt. 34 near Aurora, Illinois.
Police suspect that the hate crime was fuelled by earlier reports of three turkeys that were beheaded, charbroiled, and consumed by the Jacobson family of nearby Joliet. The terrorist group known as the Sons of Highly Intelligent Turkeys was expected to claim responsibility for the slaying.
The slain Chicken is alleged to have been a member of Chicken Liberation from Infidel Turkeys, a group that advocates the consumption of turkey meat as opposed to chicken meat. The group is suspected of tipping off the Jacobson family as to the whereabouts of the three turkeys slain earlier this week.
U.S. Military spokesman Col. Harland Sanders said that everything in his power is being done to curb the poultry violence before the situation escalates into something far worse.