Written by Stu B
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Topics: Guantanamo, Cuba

Thursday, 1 July 2004

image for Elmo detained at Guantanamo Bay
Fans and colleagues are shocked at the news

Lovable and cuddly child icon Elmo was deported today to Camp X-ray, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, charged with planning acts of terror against the state.

Elmo had been missing from his childrens TV show for a number of days but it had been suspected that his amphetamine addiction had got the better of him again. It was only this morning when a spokesmen from The Childrens Television Workshop announced the shock news.

"Our friend and colleague Elmo, has been arrested on three charges of terrorist related activities, that is ONE Charge, TWO Charges, THREE Charges, Ha ha ha" said the puppet with fangs.

His close friend Cookie Monster was clearly disturbed at the news "He doesn't even have his blanket. We are going to have to break into his apartment to feed his goldfish. What flavour cookies do goldfish eat anyway?"

The puppet was arrested whilst attempting to buy fuses for an incendiary device at a Kmart in Des Moines on Saturday last it was claimed last night by an FBI spokesman.

"We had conducted a stringent undercover surveillance exercise over a number of weeks and observed dubious behavior from the suspect, didn't we Bert?" said the spokesman, a long faced colleage in the room confirmed the story.

Elmo's agent was not prepared to comment but one of his other clients made an impassioned plea to the authorities.

"We all know that Security is of the utmost importance but does he deserve this. At least turn the lights off in his cell once in awhile, he got no eyelids for god's sake!" The client wished to remain anonmous in case his long crooked nose and love of chickens singled him out for abuse.

Big Bird made no comment.

This report was brought to you by the letter X and the number 3.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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