LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - Coach Biffy "Pigskin" McBiddle of the Arkansas Razorbacks called an emergency meeting of his players to give them some bad news.
McBiddle told the players that the university's Dean of Academic Associate Academics Wellington Packsaddle has informed him that due to a tremendous amount of pressure being put on him by a lot of the university alumni, due to the swine flu outbreak, he has decided that the University of Arkansas will drop their team mascot name; Razorback.
Dean Packsaddle met with his personal secretary Effie Lou Zickafoose and his Athletic Department Director Lyle Waxdickler and the three were able to take the 847 name choices, submitted by the student body, and narrow it down to three names.
Packsaddle told Coach McBiddle that he will allow his players to decide on their new name.
McBiddle told the dean that he was honored and that he would present the three choices to his players during the next team meeting.
Dean Packsaddle said that the top three choices for the new mascot name for the University of Arkansas as submitted by The University of Arkansas student body were, The Farm Fellers, The Stillmakers, and The Hotcakers.
McBiddle said that the new name will be announced on the next edition of Carlton Dingledebby's ESPN sports show, "Sis Boom Bah."
In a related story. CNN is reporting that Coach Biffy "Pigskin" McBiddle who has coached the University of Arkansas team to a ten year 92-8 record will be announcing his resignation.
When asked why he was resigning, Coach McBiddle said that it was because he had been told by a certain unnamed individual with the initials W.P. that he would have to change his own nickname from "Pigskin" to whatever.
McBiddle said that first of all he has had the nickname "Pigskin" ever since he was three weeks old. And secondly he said that he absolutley hates the nickname "Whatever."