The swine flu virus was created in a lab at UCLA in Southern California, the Chiang Mai (Thailand) Post has learned. The virus was then picked up by CIA operatives who transported it to an out of the way farm in rural Mexico where the pigs were infected. Within days the pandemic began.
For months now there has been a large exodus of Mexican migrant workers from California back to their homeland. The American economy is now roughly on par with Mexico so job opportunities are about the same.
Back home the migrant workers have access to their families as well as a decent health care system. In addition they have the opportunity to amass amazing wealth through employment with the drug cartels.
The California conglomerates that own the lucrative fruit and vegetable operations in that state have been grumbling for a long time about the lack of cheap labour to carry out all the menial tasks that they need done.
They have consistently argued that the workers need a strong reason, that doesn't involve wages or health care, to remain in California. However, it has been reported, nothing was done until Jack Nicholson threw a temper tantrum because his leaves had not been raked for three days.
In a blind fury, he allegedly drove to Los Angeles CIA headquarters where he stormed the office clutching his favourite driver. After delivering copious quantities of oaths and obscenity at high volume he threatened to practice his golf swing on the Head of Station's backside until 'someone gets them goddamn wetbacks back to work.'
The rest, as they say, is history.