Washington DC: A Federal Communications Commission (FCC) panel was convened to hear testimony from the single holdout in the nation who has not upgraded his analog TV set to digital format.
The FCC panel members were curious to know why Mr. Gates kept missing the up grade date, was it due to time constraints, digital TV set or converter box costs (there is a government program for that)? He replied "nope".
The FCC panel members were curious to know if Mr. Gates minded missing Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, Survivor Los Angeles, female mud wrestling, the Plumber's Apprentice, FOX (right) News or MSNBC (left) News and various Sitcoms? He replied "nope".
The FCC panel members were curious to know if Mr. gates was perturbed that he wouldn't be able to view advertisements for cheap kitchen gadgets from the 1950's, scrumptious super tomatoes, obnoxious lawyers, phony doctors prescribing medications, Hollywood fading stars prostituting themselves in commercials to sell a product and Shamwow demonstrations. He replied "nope".
Mr. Gates made a statement prior to leaving the hearing room. "Our original TV set broke in 1980 and we had to buy one for the kids to watch cartoons, but the new set had a mute control which helped somewhat. I really missed all those vacuum tubes in the old TV set that kept the room nice and warm, keeping our energy bills low by not having to run our furnace. Yes, I will miss CSPAN, but the kids are all married now!"
"Oh, by the way, hasn't the FCC panel members heard of the Internet?"