NASA HQ, Groom Lake, Nevada - (X-Files Mess): Pentagon scientists are believed to be behind the manufacture of the H1N1 porcine norovirus in a crude attempt to curb illegal Mexican immigrants sponging off the US taxpayer.
The Roswell bio weapon experiment was initially cultivated at NASA's notorious Area 51 UFO retro-engineering base and produced a race-specific bug designed to target millions of annual illegals.
Unfortunately a mutation at the piglet fetus stage of gestation meant the virus became contaminated with the bird flu pathogen giving rise to the Pigs Might Fly strain currently besieging paranoid WHO officials.
A vaccine containing Colombian wild boar semen is being tested as an antidote but has to be administered according to French people's preferred method of taking medication.
Nicholas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni enjoy a normal matrimonial relationship.