After more than a year as a top paid writer for TheSpoof.com, and logging more than 100 stories in that same time frame, P.M. Wortham now claims that all news articles were in fact filled with false claims, exaggerations and outright lies.
Arrested near his home in New Baltimore under charges of plagiarism, fraud, public drunkenness and bad personal hygiene, Wortham is being held in County jail where he will be buried in the sand up to his neck and stoned by an impartial jury of his Spoof peers.
Senior writer for TheSpoof.com, Monkey Woods, was outraged, but not at the writer's integrity. "That bastard was earning 23 cents a page and I've been working for Happy Meal coupons. I'm throwing the first stone. Well it's more like a brick actually."
TheSpoof.com Chief Food Editor, Jesus Buddha commented, "The whole of TheSpoof.com staff is shocked beyond words at the lack of professionalism on the part of Wortham. Even I believed the articles were true." Buddha was heard wiping the sniffles away from his nose, then seen grabbing a cupcake to drown his sorrows.
If he survives the stoning, Wortham plans to move on to other projects including a new book on the migratory patterns of the African Swallow and their abilities to carry Coconuts in flight. Wortham commented, "It's been a thrill writing for TheSpoof.com, and that's the truth. Wink, Wink, Nudge, Nudge."
Wortham was discovered to look much like his icon, but with less of a cowlick.
Farewell friends. The project is real. The title is not. I will miss playing the anagram game, Warren's fight with city hall, QM's icon, the dry humor of JB and MW, the practicality of JM, and suffering through the edits and story cancellations of one particularly evil, Mr. Lowton. Seriously Mark, really nice product you've developed here. Keep on keeping on.