In response to the wildly popular Michael Moore documentary, Farenheit 9/11, President George Bush today proposed a new law which would make it a felony offense to hate him.
"This has gone on too long. If we just let Americans walk around hating me, then the terrorists win," Bush said while on a recent vacation. "It is not good for the country and, more importantly, it hurts my feelings."
While there has always been a law on the books making it illegal to threaten the President of the United States, this new law would punish anyone who "hates, dislikes, makes fun of, or even laughs at a joke about George W. Bush." Offenders will be punished with up to 20 years in a maximum security prison. Offenders in Bush's home state of Texas will, of course, be punished by execution.
"There isn't much more un-American in my book than saying that President Bush looks like a monkey or talks like a three-year-old," a Bush spokesman said. "Plus, Michael Moore is fat," he added.