Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 27 April 2009

image for Angelina Jolie and Madonna Fighting Over Adopting Hollie Steel
Hollie Steel at the age of six showing the photographer where candlewax comes from.

PARIS - The Paris Souffle-Sun is reporting what could turn out to be the biggest adoption fight in the history of adoptions.

World famous actress Angelina Jolie and world famous singer Madonna have both expressed a desire to add Hollie Steel, the little 10-year-old British singing sensation to their family.

Jolie stated that she is better suited to adopt little Hollie since she, unlike Madonna, has a father figure present in her household.

She added that Brad (Pitt) has shown time after time that he makes one heck of a dad. Jolie added that Brad knows about 94 nursery rhymes, over 105 children's songs, he has had the chicken pox, and he can say goo-goo ga-ga good enough to fool even the smartest baby or toddler.

Madonna countered by saying that since she is a singer and Hollie is a singer that it only stands to reason that she should be allowed to adopt her.

Madonna added that Jolie cannot even carry a tune or sing on key. "The Material Girl" then really took out her claws as she commented that Jolie does not even know the difference between a G-sharp and a G-spot.

She then grinned and added, that she knows how to play a harmonica and she doubted if Jolie even knew which side of the harmonica to put against her enormous collagen-filled botoxed lips.

Brad remarked that his better half (Angie) does not have anywhere near as much cellulite as Madonna does.

He said that he knows first hand that Madonna has major cellulite on both of her tonsils.

He then confessed that if Madonna were to completely shave off all of her armpit hair that you would see a lot of cellulite as well as recent signs of botoxing.

Brad then disclosed that Madonna has a tattoo on her left armpit with Chinese symbols that spell out Sean Penn's A Punk.

When Hollie was asked if she would rather live with Angelina Jolie or with Madonna, she replied that both were very nice ladies, but that she would rather live with her biological grandmother Julie Andrews.

When told by The United Kingdom Children's Adoption Agency representative that living with Julie Andrews would not be an option, Hollie started crying and said that she would then probably just end up running away to America.

She said that she would go to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and ask President Obama if he and his wife would adopt her so that she could then become Malia and Sasha's half sista.

Hollie's eyes lit up as she thought about the possibility of forming a girl group with the two "First Kiddoes."

The little lass from Lancashire smiled and said that she really liked the name, The Sugar & Spice Babies.

In other news. The McDonald's Restaurants in England, in honor of "Britain's Got Talent" will soon be selling The Big MacBoyleBurger, The McShaheen, McJafargholi Breakfast McMuffin, and The McHollie McSteel McNuggets.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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