Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 27 April 2009

image for Hollie Steel Admits Julie Andrews Is Her Biological Grandmother
A photo of Hollie Steel that was taken last year while she was playing hide and seek with her grandmother Julie Andrews.

LONDON - It seems as though "Britains Got Talent" keeps putting out amazing performers like Victoria's Secret puts out bras.

The latest BGT find is little 10-year-old Hollie Steel, who hails from Accrington, Lancashire in England.

Hollie who only weighs 37 pounds can sing like a 300 pound theatrical diva. She is a sweet little child who still wears toddler size clothes.

She no longer drinks milk from a baby bottle, but she still needs to be burped on occasion.

BGT judge Piers Morgan said that he has never seen a little girl wearing a tutu the size of an average sock sing with more enthusiasm, gusto, and conceit.

Simon Cowell, the other male judge said that he wanted to quickly dispell the rumor that Hollie's singing muscles are the result to anabolic steroids. He added that the only drug that Hollie takes is a daily Wilma Flintstone Vitamin.

America's Dick Clark wannabe, Ryan Seacrest has revealed however the unbelievalbe story that Hollie is actually the biological granddaughter of British born theatrical songstess Julie Andrews.

When Hollie was asked about this grandmother and granddaughter rumor, she smiled, took out her pacifer and said that yes it was true but that she wasn't really supposed to talk about her Academy Award, Golden Globe, Grammy, Tony, and Emmy award-winning grandmomsy womsy.

Simon Cowell who has quite a flair for finding undiscovered talent has already signed on to be little Hollie's manager. And he has announced that Hollie will begin performing the lead in the play The Sound of Music in June.

Cowell added that he has also already secured the rights to manufacture "My Fair Little Lady" pajamas, as well as Hollie Steel Diaper Bags, Little Jolly Hollie Playpens, and Hollie Steel English Muffin-Flavored Pacifers.

When Hollie was asked how she felt about her upcoming world-wide tour which will take her to places such as Fujinomiya, Japan; Hammerfest, Norway; Aguascalientes, Mexico; International Falls, Minnesota; and Dublin, Ireland Hollie grinned and replied, "Dublin, Ireland, I've never heard of Dublin, Ireland, but I shall cross the Indian Ocean and perform my little Lancashire bottom off anyway.

In related news. There is no truth at all to the rumor that Hollie has a tattoo on her tummy that reads, "Abs of Steel."

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 plus 5?

9 13 22 6
46 readers are online right now!

Go to top