Written by Frank Cotolo
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Tuesday, 29 June 2004

CORCUPONIA, Wisc. -- A new poll released shows that if the general election were held today, Bob Hope would still be dead.

However, that same study shows that if Ronald Reagan were still alive and running against George Bush and John Kerry that Reagan would win in a landslide.

"The people polled went for Reagan like a racoon to a bail of dirty hay," said pollster Edward Smiley.

With a margin of error of one to two, if not four to five and maybe ten to twenty points, the results didn't make either candidate think differently about the campaign.

"I plan to do exactly what I have been doing, only more of it," said Bush.

"I plan to keep pushing and getting my message across, no matter what message that is," said Kerry.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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