Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 24 April 2009

image for Miss California Says She's Moving To Wyoming
An extremely rare photo of Miss California who swears that she does not smoke.

LOS ANGELES - Miss California says that she is so mad that Perez Hilton ambushed her during The Miss USA telecast with his 'gay question' that she has decided to move to Wyoming where there are no gay people.

Perez Hilton who is an avowed 'gay guy' said that Miss California is over reacting and that he will personally pay her tuition for her to attend The Paris Hilton Academy of Overacting.

Miss California reportedly told CNN's Anderson Cooper that Perez Hilton is just a sissy person who loves to wear makeup, women's sandals, and a toe ring.

She also threw in that he is a closet Republican.

Perez said that he doesn't mind Miss California saying that he wears makeup, women's sandals, and a toe ring, but he is highly insulted that she would call him a closet Republican.

He then revealed that one of the other contestants had told him in strictest confidence that Miss California's boobs were actually 'store bought.'

And he was also informed that she has the words 'Palin in 2012' tattooed on her bikini line.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: A call to the Wyoming Department of Human Resources was made and the chief clerk, a lady named Beulah Pettyjohn said that state records indicate that Miss California is misinformed because there are actually two gay people living in Wyoming.

One is a 32-year-old girl's high school volleyball coach named Claudette Drybread who lives in Buffalo Belly, Wyoming, and the other one is a member of the Laramie Police Department, Officer Drexton P. "Bippity Bip" Chickalooni).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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