Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 3 May 2009

image for Angelina Jolie's Juicy Workout DVD
Angelina Jolie shown demonstrating one of her calorie blasting exercises in her new workout DVD.

LOS ANGELES - Brad Pitt's significant other, Angelina Jolie has just joined the long list of celebrities who have put out workout DVD's.

Jolie is in good company with well known individuals like Britney Spears, Jane Fonda, Kathy Nijimy, Elton John, Condoleezza Rice, Wolf Blitzer, and Wynonna Judd.

Angelina's workout DVD is entitled, "Working My Bottom Off So That The Guys Will All Say, Hot Damn."

Jolie's exercise instructor Vaughn Marchetti, who is a former Mr. International Steroids said that he has seen dozens of workout videos but that Angelina's is definitely the best one.

It has more fat burning exercises, more calorie blasting exercises, and more foreplay exercises than any other DVD on the market.

Marchetti said that it was simply fantastic the way that Jolie was able to showcase first class exercising while at the same time incorporating it with first class feminine sexuality.

He said that throughout the two hour and ten minute DVD Angelina wears two dozen different skimpy-as-heck exercise outfits and astoundingly provocative exercise clothes.

During the first 15 minutes alone Jolie is shown wearing the smallest teddy that Victoria's Secret makes. In fact this particular teddy is so sensuously revealing that it has actually been banned in Missouri, Kansas, Iowa, Detroit, and Japan.

In the DVD's basic advanced toning section Angie wears an extremely skimpy skin-colored string bikini thong that Marchetti describes as being just a little bit bigger than an average postage stamp.

he said that he had never seen a woman look better at burning calories, trimming away fat, and shedding off the pounds than Angelina.

In one boob tightening exercise scene, Jolie is shown peeling off her 36-C bra as she exercises vehemently and the viewer can actually see the fat literally falling to the floor.

Marchetti said that Angelina Jolie is just a natural when it comes to making exercise DVS's. He commented that he worked on Britney Spear's very first workout DVD entitled "The Sleek, Slim, Sassy, and Slender Spears Girl Known as Britney Workin' It Workout DVD."

He grinned as he took a sip from his Bud Light and added that Britney's body does not come anywhere close to being as physically attractive or sexually desirable as Angelina's.

Marchetti confessed that at first he was a little leery about the chapter where Angelina Jolie and her partner Brad Pitt do some of her exercises nude while reading a movie script in bed.

But he said that once he saw the finished product it really turned out much better than he expected. He said that he especially liked the sensitive way that they handled the condom scene.

And in one of Marchetti's favorite scenes, we see Angelina wearing a New York Yankees cap and a pair of extremely short Daisy Duke shorts demonstrating the proper way, as well as the improper way to do the Kegel exercises.

The DVD should come out sometime in June and it will certainly make a wonderful gift for the nation's thousands of June brides.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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