Written by Bureau
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Topics: Rush Limbaugh

Saturday, 18 April 2009

image for Rush Limbaugh Carries Extra Golf Balls In Mouth
Limbaugh's Balls

Founded in 1973, The Heritage Foundation is one of the most widely respected research and educational institutes in the world.

However, this weekend's golf matches to raise funds for conservative causes ended unexpectedly when radio talk show host, Rush Limbaugh, nearly choked to death.

Rush, as most of you know (since it's in the article's title) carries his extra golf balls in his mouth while playing. This is not unusual because, 1. His mouth can hold ten, and 2. The other players like to get a word in from time to time.

Every six holes, Limbaugh removes the extra balls and gets to hold forth until the players get to the ninth hole. He then places them back in after washing and keeps them there until the 16th hole, when he can talk through the final three holes.

This also allows the players to have extra time between holes because Limbaugh only needs to was his balls twice during an 18 hole event.

However, Saturday morning on the #4, par 3 hole at Washington National, Rush hit a hole in one!

There was one loud muffled shout and then nothing but a very panicked Rush Limbaugh running around the #4 Tee area with a big red face and giving the universal sign of "When in trouble, when in doubt...run in circles, scream and shout!"

Only there was no shout. Just two of his fellow golfers trampled on the ground.

Things were at a pretty sad state when suddenly the fourth player, Ann Coulter, gave Rush a kick in his other balls forcing them to fly out of his pants and also the ten out of his mouth, including the one blocking his air.

Those nearby swear that there was so much air coming out that all ten of the other balls made it safely onto the green.

Of course, Limbaugh will be back on the Air this week, probably Monday, so tune in for the full story but he won't be on the video cam because of being all curled up.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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