Written by susan allen-rosario
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Topics: spelling, Tennessee

Tuesday, 29 June 2004

image for Spelling Bee Contestent Looses Because She Can't Spell Shit
"I'm learning to spell all the profanity I can", states Sally Mander

BUBBA, TENNESSEE - Sally Mander, last year's winner of the annual National Spelling Bee contest, lost her second title today after she spelled the word "shit" with a capital "C".

A new profanity word section was added by the events sponsor, "shock jock", Howard Stern. "It's that damn Baptist school "ma" sends her to", Sally's disappointed father said. "They're so busy teachin' them kids how to not fornicate that they never learn 'em how to be like other American, potty mouth young'ns. Heck, shit was one of my first words"!

Sally plans to "study up" for next year's contest. "I'm learning to spell all the profanity I can, along with obscene names for female body parts. Just in case Howard Stern sponsors the contest again".

Good luck, Sally. But you better brush up on those obscene names for male body parts as well, or next year's headlines might read, "Spelling Bee Contestant Loses Cause She Can't Spell "Dick".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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