Written by matwil
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Saturday, 18 April 2009

image for Obama unveils his new tricycle
The mightiest tricycle in the world, one wheel missing and lost in Europe

President Barack Obama today grabbed headlines across the world, as once again he showed that America leads the world economically and politically - by unveiling his new toy tricycle.

'Yippee!' he said to journalists, 'thanks Michelle! Now I can play with the big boys, you know, like the French and the British!', and putting on his deep 'Presidential' voice he added: 'I hereby announce a multinational Trike Summit in Liechtenstein, wherever the hell that is, so the world's leaders can gather and ride trikes round in circles while eating popcorn. And can play at cowboys and Indians - I mean Native Americans - and can then go to Pizza Hut before seeing the latest Lassie movie.'

But French President Nicolas Sargozy muttered: 'Sacre bleu! These Americaines are like, 'ow you say, children, with their tricycles and puppies and baseball, and 'aving to go to Berlin to get noticed by their own people, it is incroyable.'

And German Chancellor Angela Merkel added: 'President Obama reminds me of my own dog - it's black and does what its master tells it to do, it makes a lot of noise but that's all it is, noise. Mind you, Obama made jokes about disabled people, that was quite popular with a few old National Socialists here in Deutschland!'

But as Mr Obama was playing with his new toy, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said: 'See what happens if you elect a token? Now, if you'd picked me there would have been no bikes or trikes or puppies, just serious Presidential stuff, like, well, you know, marrying a President, and getting shot at by imaginary snipers in Kosavaro, and, er, whatever else Presidents do.'

'But riding a trike is certainly not what the leader of the Free World should be doing - the leader should be playing with Barbie dolls, and making origami kittens for Mother's Day.'

Many across the world have become totally bemused by the USA and its more and more bizarre leaders - George W Bush, an alcoholic baboon who kept falling over and couldn't speak like an adult, Bill Clinton, lying from first to last about draft dodging, marijuana and internes, and about property frauds, Jimmy Carter, a sort of cousin of the Osmonds with about as much grasp on world affairs as they have, Ronald Reagan, an idiot with no grasp on politics at all, Richard Nixon, a crook and a liar, etc., etc., etc.

And now Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, the Laurel and Hardy of US politics. Obama already out of his depth after a few days in Europe, resorting to gimmicks like trikes and puppies like a little boy, to deflect attention from his total lack of experience or knowledge about being a President, or even about being a leading politician, and Clinton, another child resorting to making up childish tales about her past, bordering on the surreal if not downright delusional.

Let's just hope the pair stick to being children, and let the rest of the world carry on running itself, it's being doing fine without the USA ever since the Cold War ended.

Ting ting!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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