SYDNEY, Australia - The media is reporting that Robyn Gibson is divorcing Mel, her husband of 28 years, due to irreconcilable differences.
Mrs. Gibson sat down with Breezy Hooberry, a reporter for The Sydney Morning Down Under Times and said that she wanted to set the record straight.
She said that she was not divorcing Mel because of alcohol, drugs, or womanizing. She added that she has never kissed a woman, she has never done drugs, and she gave up alcohol at the age of 25.
Robyn, who dropped the 'I' and replaced it with a 'Y' in 1990 to honor her maternal grandmother Ypsalanti Jolene Ouchmoody said that the father of her seven children, ranging in age from 10 to 28, is basically a good person.
She confessed that the reason why she is divorcing Mel is because of the fact that he has stubbornly, uncompromisingly, and adamantly refused to lower the toilet seat after he goes number one.
Robyn said that he would even go out of his way to leave the toilet seat up and then laugh out loud when he'd hear the water splash as she fell in.
She said that most people may say that, that is not reason enough to divorce someone, but to her it is because she kept track and in just one year, she actually fell in a total of 227 times, the last time causing a bruise that resembled Greenland.
Robyn also said that she hated his middle name and that she asked him to change it on several occasions, but he refused.
Mel's middle name is Columcille. He says that it is an old Irish name which means tall archer whose arrows are prone to fall short of their intended target nine times out of ten.
Robyn revealed that the name is a Ugandan word which actually means, warrior who eats sour jungle vines and washes them down with baby gazelle sweat.
When Robyn was asked if she plans to date again once her divorce is final she smiled and replied, "No way. After the divorce, I'll have about $500 million and that will certainly rent me all the men I'll ever want."
In other news. Lindsay Lohan confided to Barbara Walters that from now on, when she dates a girl, it will be a pretty girl, and not one that looks like a two-year-old toilet brush like you-know-who.