Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Somali Pirates

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

image for The Somali Pirates Hijack A North Korean Icebreaker
Captain X, leader of the Somali Pirates (photo courtesy of Keira Knightley)

THE INDIAN OCEAN - The Somali Pirates angry as the dickens after their loss to the United States Navy Seals have just announced that they have hijacked an icebreaker that is leased to the North Korean government.

Kim Jong il, chairman of the North Korean National Defense Commission, has reportedly sent a message to the pirates that they had better release the Icebreaker, The NKS Rice Paddy and her crew of 19,342 sailors or risk having the North Korean Air Force launch its one remaining missile at their lifeboat.

North Korea has stated that they are still highly embarrassed about their satellite missile/big bottle rocket that they fired and which limped over Japan and landed in the Pacific Ocean, killing 14 sardines, 17 tilapia, 45 guppies, and an aged porpoise.

Kim Jong il said that his country was the laughing stock nation of the week last week, but not this week.

He firmly stated that if the pirates do not release The NKS Rice Paddy soon, then North Korea will have no choice but to top off her rocket's fuel tank, light the fuse, and fire that baby off.

When informed that the pirates ransom demands only include 20 bags of rice, a used sampan, a used rickshaw, a used water buffalo leash, and $18, Kim Jong il replied, "It's the principle of the thing. And besides the price of used water buffalo leashes has skyrocketed in the last month to almost 400 percent."

In other news. Cloris Leachman celebrated her 103rd birthday. Relatives and friends bought her a huge three layer Devil's food cake. But sadly several of the 103 candles accidentally tipped over, causing the cake to catch fire, and burn completely down to the floor. Luckily there were no injuries.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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