Written by Linguini
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Topics: southerners

Monday, 28 June 2004

image for Cheney's True Southern Strategy Revealed
"No Constitutional Amendment for Me!"

Dateline . . . . late June 2004

A Washington D.C. reporter uncovered a directive from V.P Dick Cheney to his star pupil, G.W., advising him ". . . not to forget about tying up the Southern Redneck Vote" for this November. In his memo Cheney distinguished between southern "Good Ol' Boys" and "Rednecks," saying,

"In the South, George, there's basically two types of White Folks, - 'Good Ol' Boys' and "Rednecks.' Although both of 'em raise farm animals, Rednecks become emotionally involved with 'em, - kind of like people who go to a family renunion looking for a date! Go easy on them when you talk about a Constitutional Amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman, cuz many of these folks really love their livestock!"

G.W. replied, "Got yuh. I'll just tell 'em a zinger 'bout my cousin, Lucille, and me. That ought to bust 'em up and make 'em vote for good ol' G.W.!", to which Cheney replied, "I like it!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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