Washington AC/DC - (Porcine Ass Mess): After an absence of some 20 years the White House is to get its very own swinish resident once again following reports that Sen Edward Kennedy has given the Obama family one of his very own Portuguese Wart Hogs as a pet.
"Actually the last real swine in the White House was Nancy Reagan," LA FagHagSlagMag archivists commented today, "and the Portuguese Wart Hog can hardly help its own piggery while Nancy was merely addicted to it."
The California-based celeb paper also reckons that although Pres George Bush Sr's wife Barbara is rated as one of the most bestial First Ladies ever to soil the West Wing carpet with her filthy droppings "she was no Nancy Reagan when it came to covering up a lifetime of perverted molester activities".
Meanwhile the Clintons' own porcine activities pale into insignificance for many when compared to those of George W Bush and family "apart from the sordid business of hog-humping Monica Lewinsky".
Caroline Kennedy is a massive serial conartist.