Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 12 April 2009

image for Billy Bob Thornton Kicked Out of Canada
Billy Bob Thornton in a very rare photo of him smiling in the livingroom of his house trailer.

TORONTO - Billy Bob Thornton, who many now believe to be the biological brother of Joaquin Phoenix has been kicked out of Canada.

The actor, screenwriter, director, singer infuriated the entire country of Canada with his absolutely pathetic interview.

Canadian disc jockey Jian Ghomeshi of CBC's radio "Q" asked intelligent and very easy to answer questions, which Thornton chose to either ignore or give outlandish off-the-wall answers to.

The 53-year-old third rate singer quickly showed Canada and the entire world exactly why it is that he has five ex-wives.

Thornton's band, the Boxmasters were Willie Nelson's opening act...or at least until silly Billy made his space cadet remarks.

The thing that really got the Canadian people upset was that Billy Bob, or Billy Boob as the audience at the Toronto concert called him compared the Canadian people to mash potatoes without the gravy.

As one Canadian, Montaque Fontainebleau, 74, said, "We the Canadian people are a very proud people and we were not so much offended at being called mash potatoes as we were at being told that we do not have gravy.

And let me say that no one from the left coast of Canada to the right coast of Canada takes kindly to having someone, especially a friggin' foreigner, like Mr. Thornbush (sic), say that we do not have gravy."

Fontainebleau went on to say that Mr. Thorndyke (sic) is one lucky SOB, who is very fortunate that he was kicked out of the country with all his SOB body parts in tact, because the last individual who made a "gravy" remark left the beautiful country of Canada looking like second base.

When Willie Nelson was asked to comment on Thornton's ignorant comment, Nelson smiled and said "Who the hell is Thornton?"

When told that he was the leader of his opening act the Boxmasters, Nelson grinned, put down his Marlboro cigarette, and his bottle of Lone Star Beer and said, "The Boxmasters? Hell, I thought that our opening act was the Boxtops."

In related news. Angelina Jolie, aka the fifth ex-Mrs. Billy Bob Thornton remarked that she hopes that B.B. (Billy Bob) gets some professional help before his band embarks on their Russian tour because if he pisses off the Russians like he did the Canadians, he will most definitely end up spending the rest of his life sitting on a peach basket in Siberia.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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