Reports from the Somali news agency suggest early this morning a US battleship heading towards North Korea was sensationally captured by 3 Somali Pirates in a fierce battle on a rubber dingy.
The battleship which is equipped heavily with arms and nuclear weapons capability was no match for the pirates with their heavy armoury of sticks and stones.
The captain of the ship Montell Jordon Hanson said 'After a barrage of stones were hurled we incurred mass damage to the ships sunbathing area with a large number of sailors bruised and unable to carry out their duties, we took a strategic decision to surrender to keep casualties to a minimum.'
Captain Jack Sparrow a well known pirate from the Black Pearl stated 'Thiiiss issss greattt, maker mine a ruum, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!'
Secretary of State Hairy Clit-on warned the pirates that they 'would not succumb to any ransom fee' however in unconfirmed reports the US are in negotiation talks with the UN spokesperson Captain Birds eye to reach an amicable deal for the safe return of the ship.