Written by Adam Click
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Topics: drunk

Sunday, 26 April 2009

image for Last Person to Leave Town too Drunk to Turn Off Lights
Morris Williams emptied Roscoe's Bar and Grill of all it's stock, all by his lonesome self.

Kyle, Il. - A town of just more than 700 people, Kyle was a close knit community. But high taxes and a recession along with fears of continued flooding has taken it's toll on this flat bottomed community.

As the population waned and businesses closed the running joke was, "Will the last person to leave Kyle please turn off the lights.". That sad occasion has come to pass. The only problem is that the last person in town was too drunk to find the master light switch.

Morris Williams of 154 Pleasant Street was to go through town, turning off lights and securing buildings, before leaving himself. The plan was that he would start walking from one end of town and meet his friends at the other, where they would all drive off into the sunset together. He made it as far as Roscoe's Bar and Grill.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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