Written by Unconfirmed Source
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Topics: Michael Moore

Monday, 28 June 2004

image for FEC Rules Fahrenheit 9/11 Ads are Political Ads: Moore Ties with Bush and Kerry in National Poll!
A Three Man Race!

Unconfirmed Sources indicate that the FEC ruling that ads for Fahrenheit 9-11 are political ads has catapulted Michael Moore into the presidential election. A national snap poll of likely voters has all three candidates tied at 33% with 1% undecided.

This strange turn of events started when Citizens United, a radical right wing political group, filed a complaint with the FEC. In the complaint Citizens United alleged that the ads for Fahrenheit 9-11 are political ads and fall under federal election rules. The FEC held a fast track hearing and determined that the ads are indeed political and fall under federal election laws.

Moore quickly retooled the ads to comply with FEC rules by adding "My name is Michael Moore and I approve this message." at the end of each ad. With the fixes in place Moore officially entered the race for the White house.

Pollster John Zogby of Zogby International suspected that something like this could happen and had a snap poll ready and waiting. The poll numbers came back late last night and have turned the race for the White house upside down.

"I just couldn't believe it." admitted Zogby. "Moore pulled 33% of the vote and took votes equally form both Kerry and Bush. This is a three man race, and dead even at that." Zogby plans to continue polling to discover who exactly is going to vote for Moore.

When told of the poll results Moore said. "Huh?" and then continued. "What the hell. If there are enough regular Joes out there to make me President i'll do it."

The shell shocked Bush and Kerry election committees would not comment officially on the news, but one staffer from the Bush campaign confided off the record that "Yeah, we saw it coming and have already made plans for Mr Moore. We don't think he will be a factor in the upcoming election."

The Moore election committee is undaunted by the prospect of a bruising fall election and has scheduled a nation wide bus tour called "Kicking Bush's Corporate Ass in 2004." The tour will be visiting every major metropolitan area in the coming months. Moore will also campaign at movie theaters and sports arenas where Fahrenheit 9/11 is playing.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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