Written by Valmerk
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Tuesday, 7 April 2009

image for Residents Protest "Customer With Child" Parking Spaces At Local Grocery Store
Old Lady Middleton

Area residents today organized an informal rally at the local grocery store in an effort to draw attention to a growing source of tension within their community, as well as within communities across America. They staged what is becoming commonly known as a "park in", in order to protest the unfair treatment they believe they have received from their local grocery chains in regard to the "Customer With Child" only designated parking spaces.

Wanda Middleton, an area resident who helped to organize the park-in complained, "and I have to put up with parking 2 to 3 spaces further away just to go to the store for a loaf of bread and a half gallon of 1% milk?. It's just not fair! It's preferential treatment! I call it a form of age discrimination and we won't tolerate it! I pay the same amount for my groceries as the next customer, and I don't see any specially designated spaces for people with hip replacements or artificial legs!"

When questioned in regard to how she felt about the fact that many of these young children have tiny legs with a strong tendency to whine, Ms. Middleton replied "So what? They don't know what pain is. They can use the exercise and if their mother's can't handle them, then they should be given up for adoption. Besides, I see many of these little brats copping a free ride in the grocery cart. In my day our parents used to tie a rope around us and drag us around. These kids know how to manipulate their parents well, and now they're manipulating grocery store managers across America. Enough is enough!"

This reporter mentioned to Ms. Midleton that anyone with a serious health problem could simply apply for a handicapped parking space. It was explained to her that the handicapped spaces were closer to the grocery store than the "customer with child" parking spaces. Ms. Middleton had no response.

The protest ended peacefully at 4PM when the protesters had to walk over to the nearby CVS for their annual flu shots.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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