Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Madonna

Monday, 6 April 2009

image for Madonna Dating Levi Johnston
Levi Johnston (#3) shown celebrating as the Wasilla Fighting Mushers defeated the Anchorage Abominable Snowfish to win state.

WASILLA, Alaska - Madonna, fresh from dumping baseball superstar A-Rod and Brazilian super model Jesus Luz has reportedly been seen having dinner with none other than Levi Johnston, 18, the ex-future son-in-law of Gov. Sarah Palin.

Johnston uncaringly dumped his fiancee Bristol Palin, 18, after she had their baby back in December. He told a neighbor that he does not think that he is ready to settle down with just one girl just yet.

An aide to Gov. Palin stated off the record that the governor had commented to Levi that he had better not dare set foot on her property because as far as she is concerned he looks a hell of a lot like a moose.

Levi replied that he has seen "Snowflake" Sarah shoot and she is not at all as good a shot as she thinks she is. He told of a hunting trip that just he and her took up around Prudhoe Bay.

He said that they both snuck up on a caribou and Palin took careful aim, fired, and missed causing the caribou to scamper off into the frozen woods.

Johnston said that when Palin fired her high-powered telescopic rifle that the end of the rifle was practically touching the caribou's butt.

Levi was asked if he in fact has been seeing Madonna. And he asked "Who?"

When told that there were reports circulating throughout Wasilla that he and the famous singer had both been seen at the local Jack-In-The-Box where he works he remarked, "Where?"

When Levi was asked if he was born stupid, is stupid, or just acts stupid he answered, "What?"

A reporter for The Wasilla Snowdrift Sentinel managed to talk to Madonna and she asked her point blank if she was dating the ex-boyfriend of Governor Sarah Palin's heartbroken daughter Bristol.

Madonna replied that Bristol was not heartbroken because the little spoiled brat unfairly kept the entire $300,000 that the couple was paid for the first photos of their little baby Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, who grandma Sarah has nicknamed "Huntin' Tripp."

Madonna then admitted that since the government of Malawi had denied her adoption request, she had decided to fly to Alaska and see about the possibility of adopting an Eskimo baby where all a prospective parent has to do is fill out a two question questionaire, pay a $3 adoption fee, and show at least one valid credit card.

She said that she had stopped in at the local Jack-In-The-Box and that Levi had gone up to her as she was eating her Ultimate Cheeseburger and asked her for her autograph.

Madonna said that she happened to know that he loved hockey and she offered to have him meet her in her Holiday Inn room so that he could tell her all about hockey related terms such as body checking, penalty box, biscuit in the basket, pole checking, and dangler.

Madonna and Johnston were later seen together at the Greater Wasilla Unified Airport and Madonna confessed that her and Levi are in fact dating.

She disclosed that they were both flying back to New York City and that she had hired him to be her personal ice hockey consultant and instructor on her new movie.

(EDITOR'S NOTE: In May, Madonna will begin filming Puck Bunny - The Misadventures of An Ice Hockey Groupie. The motion picture will also star Brad Pitt, Carrie Underwood, Roger Clemens, Nadya Suleman, Miley Cyrus, Tony Bennett, and Pucky the Puck, mascot of The Saskatoon Snowplowers).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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