DATELINE:LONDON-- Michelle Obama visited England for the first time with her husband last week. Michelle was fortunate to be granted a private audience with Her Royal Highness. Barack was too busy meeting with that new rap group--the GeeTwentee.
Michelle was anxious to confront the Queen. She considered Queen Elizabeth II to be "the most stuck-up whitey in the world". Michelle blamed the Royal Family for slavery and she planned to make the Queen very uncomfortable.
She met with HRH in a sitting room at Windsor Palace. Michelle wasn't feeling well that morning. She had eaten too much fish and muffins for breakfast and wasn't used to the greasy British food. The Queen greeted Michelle cordially and they sat down across from each other for a chat.
"So tell us dear, how do you like living in the White House?" said the Queen in a warm voice.
Michelle opened her mouth to speak and felt a sudden, attack of nausea. Suddenly, Michelle moaned. An 8-foot stream of vomit splashed all over the Queen. Bits of undigested fish and muffins landed on the Queen's hair, face and dress.
"Oh, we'll just get a little help cleaning this up." said the Queen softly. She rang a little bell next to her and several servants rushed in with soap, hot water and lots of clean towels.
Michelle fell down on the floor and continued vomiting. The Queen never lost her poise. She stared at the ceiling and hummed 'Rule Britannia' as the First Lady continued retching. The servants did their best to clean up the awful mess.
"Now dear, we just won't ever mention this little mishap, shall we??" said the Queen after the servants left. "It will just be our little secret, won't it?" she said with great dignity. "Now, I believe you were going to tell me about your wonderful little girls!" she said.
Michelle was so ashamed. She felt like the biggest fool in the world. The two women chatted some more in their wet, vomit stained clothes. The Queen continued to act with remarkable dignity despite the heavy odor of fresh vomit.
"Well, I guess we both have some personal business dear, don't we." said the Queen sweetly after a few more minutes. "I am so looking forward to meeting your wonderful husband after he's done talking with GeeTwentee." said HRH.
Michelle left the Palace in deep shame and bitter tears of remorse. She was about to get into her limousine when she felt someone staring at her. Michelle looked back towards the palace. The Queen was staring at her. Cold, blue eyes locked onto Michelle with malice and hate. Michelle dropped her head in complete humiliation and went back to her hotel.