Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Japan, North Korea

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

image for Japan To Invade North Korea
The Japanese Naval Destroyer, The JS Bamboo Queen shown steaming towards North Korea

TOKYO - Japanese Emperor Sashi Kajifuma has told his countrymen that he is sick and tired of all of this sophomoric rhetoric coming out of North Korea about their firing off of a rocket.

He reminded everyone that several years ago the North Koreans fired a test missile and the wayward missile landed just about 7.3 miles west of Kagoshima, Japan.

Emperor Kajifuma assured the people of Japan that the North Korean's will not be allowed to put the Japanese empire at risk.

Kajifuma has some choice words for North Korea's Premier Kim Jong il. First he said that Kimmy needs to fire his hairdresser because his hairdo looks like it was combed by a three-year-old using a broken turkey baster.

Second, he said that he has repeatedly told the Kimster that he had better point his damn missile away from Japan and somewhere else; maybe towards the Philippines, Malaysia, or Boreno, he really doesn't care which way just as long as it's not towards Japan.

Emperor Kajifuma said that he heard that Premier Kim Jong il has chosen to ignore him and has actually deleted all of his emails and is not returning any of his cell phone calls.

So Kajifuma says that he has instructed Rear Admiral Kushiro Sagamihara to take command of a 25 ship Japanese War Armada and sail towards North Korea with the sole intent of wiping the Republic of North Korea completely off the face of the Earth, not to mention every Google map in existence.

Sagamihara's flagship will be the Japanese state-of-the-art battleship The JS House of The Rising Sun. The Japanese armada will also include two of the world's largest aircraft carriers, The JS Geisha Girl and the JS Godzilla II.

Admiral Hiroki Amagasaki, Kajifuma's grandson and a graduate of the United States Naval Academy, will be second in command of the Japanese fleet and he will be on board the battleship the JS Mt. Fuji Sushi.

Rear Admiral Sagamihara has said that once the big guns from the House of The Rising Sun and the Mt. Fuji Sushi start firing at North Korea and once the 200 Japanese Mitsubishi Fighter Planes start bombing the country, it will not take long for North Korea to be reduced to a parking lot.

Emperor Sashi Kajifuma has gone on record as saying that once the one-sided battle is over that he will be willing to rent out the flat as a pancake North Korea to China so that they can use it as a gigantic rickshaw parking lot or make it the home of hundreds of rice processing plants.

In a related story. North Korea's Kim Jong il was supposed to have traveled to an undisclosed location in Sweden in order to avoid the Japanese onslaught. But he reportedly told his maid, Mishi, that he fears no one...and especially those little bitty rice-eating, saki-drinking, karate chopping Japanese infidels.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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