Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Angelina Jolie

Tuesday, 31 March 2009

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Angelina Jolie meeting with photographer Picasso Mandolin

HOLLYWOOD - Playguy Magazine is thrilled to announce that Angelina Jolie has finally agreed to appear in a nude layout in the number one men's magazine in America.

The 33-year-old beauty agreed to appear in the Playguy spread for a reported $4 million, eclipsing the previous high of $2 million which was paid to Pamela Anderson in 2001.

The Los Angeles born Jolie had her choice of dozens of the greatest photographers in the country. She narrowed it down to Picasso Mandolin, Tremolo Cheyenne, and Paducah Fisk.

She ended up choosing Picasso Mandolin because he has photographed more beautiful women that Cheyenne and Fisk put together.

One of Mandolin's most recent photo shoots included Heidi Klum standing next to the ruins of the Berlin Wall wearing nothing but a smile and a pair of Nike running shoes.

Last December he photographed a layout featuring the beautiful Brazilian model Gisele Bundchen in the Amazon Rain Forest.

Bundchen was photographed wearing only a smile and an ankle bracelet made out of Brazil nuts. Mandolin remarked that the Rain forest had never looked better.

And last October, Mandolin photographed Christy Turlington at the world-famous San Diego Zoo with Christy holding a beaver in front of her...ah...you know.

The world renowned Mandolin shot the cover story of the November issue of Playguy which featured Adriana Lima. The article was entitled, "A Fruitful Day At The Panaderia."*

In that particular piece, Lima was shown in the back of the bakery shop lying on one of the cookie cooling tables with a plate of Danish wedding cookies sitting squarely on her...ah...you know.

Picasso Mandolin spent two days with Jolie photographing her doing everything from pouring herself a bowl of Kelloggs Frosted Flakes to putting on her Victoria's Secret Princess Deluxe 7 Bra to tickling her own funny bone, to carefully plucking a wayward single left boob hair.

Mandolin took a total of 9,450 photos. And from those he narrowed it down to 9,383, and then down to the final 34 that will appear in her magazine layout.

Four of the magazine photos are of Jolie holding her three Golden Globe Awards in front of three strategic places on her body.

Regarding the two Screen Actor's Guild Awards which she won, Jolie laid down on her back wearing only a washcloth and the two awards were each carefully placed on each one of her breasts.

They achieved the effect of looking as if they were nipples in a tremendous state of arousal.

Jolie's partner Brad Pitt was asked what he thought about the photo shoot. And he replied that he thought it went well but he expressed concern that her biscuit was maybe getting just a little bit too sunburned.

Brad said that he did not want anything to interfere with the intimate plans that he had for her and him after the shoot.

He was asked why the tattoo that Angelina had on her stomach was missing the first T and read Brad Pit instead of Brad Pitt.

He replied that it was actually missing the second T and that he had accidentally rubbed it off during last month's marathon sexual session that he and Angie had down in The Playa De Las Quesadillas Resort in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

*
Bakery.

In other news. Former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice will be appearing on "Live With Regis and Kelly" and she will explain what in the world her first name means.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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