Written by Andrew PK Yap
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Topics: Tiger Woods, God

Monday, 30 March 2009

image for Tiger Woods is God! No, literally!

THE secret is out. The coincidences are too much of a coincidence. Ask any golfer and they will tell you that no mere human can do what He did and is doing. Sure, He loses occasionally at golf but that is only in keeping with His "mysterious ways" and propensity to hide His true self from mankind.

The one that clinched it for me, you know, prove once and for all that Tiger Woods is God, is what happened to the stock market (proxy for the economy) and the price of crude oil.

Consider this, when God took a break in June 2008, all hell broke loose. After the US open in June 2008, Tiger Woods, aka God, took a break.

What happens when God takes a break? As the Jim Carrey/Morgan Freeman movie Bruce Almighty so rightly pointed out, the Dark Ages (people do not call it "Dark Ages" because there was a renaissance) were dark because God took a break! Morgan Freeman, in the movie played God and is black, too, remember?

Sure Tiger has Thai blood in Him but that is …… "only in keeping with His "mysterious ways" and propensity to hide His true self from mankind"

Oh where was I? Right, the Great Economic collapse of 2008.

In June 2008 crude oil was trading at 130 US Dollars a barrel. Tiger, aka God took a break and it dropped a hundred points to around US$30. The DOW Jones index in June 2008 was, in June 2008 around 13000 points and after Tiger, aka God took a break, it dropped to 6500 points.

Crude is not at US$30 and Dow is not at 6500 points at the moment and has rebounded and why is that?

God, aka Tiger Woods came back from His break!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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